This piece was not written by myself but I couldn’t have said it better. The words epitomise a strong undercurrent I have been feeling for a while. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, that yearning I still feel five months after completing my trip.
If you’ve ever traveled extensively or taken a journey into the unknown, welcome to the group of lost individuals who will never be truly understood. Read below…
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The Hardest Part of Travelling that No One Talks About by Kellie Donnelley
Off the Beaten Track 
I’m now on my second trip. Getting pretty close to going back “home” again.
You go back and for most of the people, you go straight back in that little box. The one they know from you when you left. Somehow you can not escape your old self.
It makes you doubt, did I really not changed that much??…. Or is it just that the whole world doesn’t give a shit about you and is everybody so self-absorbed about themselves that they don’t notice??. Well, we all know which one it is….
For the people who are coming back, this is when you get tested for real…. You have been away, you have changed. You went to heaven and hell, constant in and out of your comfort zone. You are now back home. Do you jump straight back into your (old) comfort zone? Or are you going to accept that you maybe need new friends?…. New friends, that is the real test… Making friends abroad is easy, making new friends back at home, well!!….. If you succeed in this! you truly have evolved…
**Disclaimer, yeah I know… Not everybody needs new friends when coming back,,, maybe you just didn’t changed that much… Or maybe your friends changed with you… but if you have this feeling of getting home, sucks. you haven’t passed the true test 😉
I loved this !! You’re totally right.
“Or is it just that the whole world doesn’t give a shit about you and is everybody so self-absorbed about themselves that they don’t notice??. Well, we all know which one it is….”
Oh the irony! I’ve been travelling and living abroad for 6 years. I always find it funny when I bump into self absorbed travellers who think their life means something and has some purpose.
Your travelling like millions of of people. It’s not special. It’s not benifitial to society. Just enjoy it.
I wonder what people in the third world would think of this post.
Granted that would obligate them to have acces to the internet, and that they would know that some people in the first world actually travel the world for fun and not because they would be killed in their native countries.
Iḿ sorry if I dont quite see anything but the words of a spoiled person with first world problems in this blog or whatever itś called, but I find it very hard to symphatise with anyone that feels like this when millions and millions of people are dying having never left their village of starvation, thirst, disease, war, religious fanatics etc.
Sorry for being a buzzkill.
I don’t think this post claims re-entry shock is the worst problem of this world. It simply describes feelings many people have. If you never experienced them, why do you find other people expressing them offensive? What is wrong with people talking about their feelings? Or we should never talk or publish thoughts that are not related to the major world issues?
Well said.. 👍
Right on
I stay in local places in poor countries, and eat local food to support these poor people. They need our money to survive.
Great point!
Sorry sir we do not need your money. First world countries caused enough damage as is. So we do not want to hear how you are saving us. Just stay away and stop comsuming our people with your crazy ideas of how to live.
100% agree with this. The whole spin of romanticising travel in first world countries ignores the underlying hypocrisy to it all, which is; the glaring social and economic inequality.
Lol, step off of your high horse buddy
I understand your view on this, and in many ways I used to share this sentiment. How can you enjoy your life to its fullest when there are countless others who can’t even fathom the luxury of traveling for pleasure or personal growth. It’s a harsh reality that lends itself to the ruthless nature of our world. But the truth is, some are more privileged than others, and to simply squander opportunity only because others don’t have it would do a disservice to humanity. Think about the countless individuals who have traveled for pleasure or growth and have returned with a sense of purpose resulting in real change…I used to think like you, but then I realized one more happy person can make a difference…as Howard Thurman put it: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive”…if everyone made and effort to do this, she good in humanity would outweigh the bad, and true change could happen on a global scale.
Don’t forget to ACT on it though, people! If you’re really serious about your angst when you come home and realise how privileged and cossetted we are, then next time you go, DO something about it. Give them a hand. Instead of sightseeing and then writing honorable posts about it, travel as a volunteer – and build, teach , clean … Whatever it takes. And if you don’t travel again, support with some of your savings, not just words. The millions struggling to survive will thank you more for this than for what you put on a facebook post. And you can show the folks at home how you have changed for the better and make them aware. And you can turn on your tap and watch clean water come out with a clearer conscience. Good luck and safe travel!
We all have our own realities, maybe some lead a privileged life, that does not invalidate their experience. The philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein came from one of the richest families in Europe, yet three of his brothers committed suicide and he contemplated it as well. He eventually gave his fortune away and lived for some time in isolation in a small cabin in the forests of Norway. If you cannot sympathize because someone else’s pain is greater that’s your problem not theirs…
BTW “third world” is an antiquated term, we now say “developing nations” it’s not quite as patronizing… 🙂
That’s right, but I didn’t like ‘developing nation’ because it sets ‘development’ as a desirable goal and I question that. Lately in Spain we said ‘paises empobrecidos’ which is not the same as ‘poor countries’ since emphasize how rich countries cause their poverty by stealing their natural resources and using them as cheap labor
Agreed.
It’s all a bit whingey and self pitying
I think we admire “third” world and want to travel to feel as they feel at home with their families, in good and the bad. You have ridiculously romantic idea how first and third worlds differ from each other. Our first world lives are artificial, like we’re already dead when we’re born. We live a dull life at work and trying desperately to fit the pattern and all we do best is to judge other people who can’t stand your pattern to live life like u think it should be lived. Feel the world with compassion mate, go to that “third” world so you know to tell us how is it, the one per mil you’ll ever see from it.
Buzzkill is good….why not. But I think most can empathize with those who are not so fortunate as others. People in the third world have internet and people in the third world travel for reasons other than persecution and people in the third world experience the same challenges that this article refers to. And we should really stop using the term ‘third world’.
Hey there! I lived on a ghetto and grew up in a developing country and I feel the same when I go back home everytime. And worked hard and traveled through many countries because I once MET CANADIAN backpackers traveling the world when I was little. This is a matter of mental strenght nothing else. So please do not diminish the author post!!!!!!!
Invalidating someone’s suffering I feel is never the avenue or approach one should take. Simply because one is, in a relativistic perspective, more privileged, or in a higher place, does not invalidate the sensations they experience. It all goes back to the age-old adage “The grass is not always greener on the other side.” Suffering is suffering, whatever the stimulus.
It’s similar to the points brought up in this article. http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/07/tough-love-approach-for-depression/
As someone who has been suicidal and depressed since childhood I can relate to these points. There is not any series of criteria one needs to meet in order to experience these sentiments, or to have them validated. The fact of the matter is, no matter the stimulus, suffering is suffering and it hurts like hell and will fuck you up. What makes it harder is having people shoving their ideals and opinions of your situation down your throat as opposed to simply listening to your experience and offering a shoulder.
I do agree though, we can not achieve a certain level of happiness and harmony until all of our brethren throughout the globe are united and cared for properly. The solution to doing our part is to “Think globally and act locally.” Because as much as we may hate to admit it, we are only one human, and as one single human, we can only do so much.
So I really liked the original post because it describes exactly how I feel coming home after being abroad for 9 months. Leaving home and travelling is hard but the hardest is coming back in your ‘old’ life. And then I read your comment and I kind of understand the way you think BUT like others said as well just because not everybody has the chance to travel that much isn’t a reason for the once who are privileged enough not to do it. Why shouldn’t everybody use the chances they get in life? And I guess the people who travel a lot and leave their homecountry for a long time have a much better understanding for the non-privileged people. That’s because some even travel in ‘poor countries’ and sometimes even do a lot of volunteer work to help them, others are just tourists there (like I visited India twice) and some go to well developed countries. But the destination doesn’t matter! Once you travel you experience the real challenges in life. Suddenly you stand there without a family and without friends and the first thing you have to do is finding some and build up a social structure for your life abroad. And then there are moments when you are short of money and you have to cope with that and find solutions to get money like finding jobs at the right time. So I can really understand your way of thinking but I’m sure the people who travel have a much better idea about life and also about life in the ‘third world’, because they travelled. In my opinion the only way to start understanding the world and the life and culture of people in other countries in this world is travelling as much as you can! And once you understand other cultures etc. You are able to support them in a much better way. So please don’t judge the people who travel for the money they might have or they might even don’t have for just a post like this because this is not all about them and not all they think. It’s just a little part of them and it’s important to also share it with others! And I’m 100% sure that all of them are aware of the fact that not everybody in this world is privileged enough to travel the same and that some people die because of starvation etc. So let people talk about their feelings and don’t say they wouldn’t respect other people’s problems!
Im from the third world lol. We dont all live in huts in the desert/jungle/savannah. Internet access is far more widespread than you might think, and some of us travel for fun too – myself included.
It sounds pretty accurate. I love to travel, but our mindset is different (at least it is in Egypt – where im from). Our perception of travel is going on holiday for a week or 2 if youve saved up some money. Not going on month or more long excursions with no job (unless youre a student, who’s paying?)
Otherwise I dig it
You don’t even know what you are talking about! Take care
Lol. I hate you. I can’t find the words, but ‘EAT YOUR PEAS THEIR ARE STARVING KIDS IN AFRICA’ isn’t really an argument or a statement worth making. Happiness and life are relative experiences. A toddler cries when he drops his popsicle, because with so little experience of sadness, it may literally be the worst thing to ever happen to him. Emotional context exists, and you need to think about that. Everyone in the US would just be so happy all the time if we just compared ourselves to the disadvantaged, but thats not really how emotion works.
Think whatever you want, but don’t shame someone for their depression.
I grew up and live in what you call a “3rd world” country. I got a scholarship and studied in the US. Travelled through Europe and Asia. I have been to 21 one countries and still travelling. I can relate to every word the writer has said. Reverse culture shock is worse than culture shock. Going home is hard. The first time I went home, I stayed only for 5 months then hard to leave, i couldn’t take it. The writer is not being selfish, it is the truth. Once you travel, especially for a long time, home will never be the same again.
You are dealing with problems of survival, she is dealing with problems of self actualization. Both are issues in life, one is just more progressed than the other. No one chooses where or the circumstances they are born into. The issues she faces are just as real as those you bring up. If you have the issues you discuss, you probably never will understand her issues, and vice versa. You cannot solve her problems, nor can she solve yours, but some people can imagine the difficulties of others journeys, and imagine. I can see and sympathize with both of you. If you cannot, this says more about your station in life, not your circumstances. Guess one has to progress step by step, to sympathize. Hope you will be able to do that one day.
To say that is to miss the point entirely. Everybody has problems. Different problems, that will have to be dealt with in different ways. The psychological effect of those problems vary greatly. And the fact that some nameless millions have worse problems than you does not change that. Put it this way: the first time someone breaks your heart, somebody pointing out to you that a random guy in Africa has no food for his children, while horrible and true, does not change the fact that your heart is broken. The above article links a lot to depression, something that former travelers often suffer with due to the reasons stated. And the reply about 3rd world opinions is exactly the sort of answer that people come out with when speaking to those people with depression, which only heighten the issues.
I have spoken to a few people who have stopped moving around as much in life. Most of them stop for a reason, meeting someone, kids. The loss of freedom is hard to come to terms with, the comparatively dull lifestyle is difficult. I can sympathise very much with this. Saying that is not to say that others issues aren’t important, or disrespectful to the others.
“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend.” – Lord of the Rings (film). The closing words of Frodo Baggins, who promptly left his home for good as he found himself too different to those around him.
Actually if you have travelled before, you would know that the third world actually has internet. They also know that people travel for fun and most of them really want to travel too. They also don’t like to be called ‘the third world.’ Wikipedia what Third World actually means. This post is very ignorant.
I agree with her and with you. But what you didn’t understand from her article is the change of mind set once you truly experience traveling. Yes people all around the world are dying, starving and never left their village. But what she is trying to say is that, many people from back home have never left thier country and have a 9 to 5 job, married, kids ect… The routine basicaly. Having traveled around the world, you experience a whole different lifestyle, a lifestyle that broads your mind and opens your eyes. So going back home, seeing your relatives and friends still having their routine, you come to realise that they haven’t changed, concluding that it isn’t the life you want.
Btw, there are different types of travelling… and it isn’t having a load of money and spend it on hotels and water activities. A lot of us are travelling by working hard, saving money, doing free activities, helping each other (transport, sofa to sleep for the night, job hunting, ect…) living pretty much on the edge and coming to realise that money isn’t the key subject to living a happy life.
So coming back to your comment saying that she is spoilled, us travellers are people quite the opposite of spoilled. We work to live, not living to work. Appreciating the little money we earn from our minimum wedge job and we don’t moan on wishing to have a king size bed in our room, as alot of us share dorm rooms of up to 12 people.
That is why going back home is really tricky as our brains change over the time to a mind set of being generous, thirst of meeting new people, open minded and the appreciation of the little things that people back home will moan on.
I kind of agree to your comment about seeing these words of a spoiled person. My first reaction was, “so you need to be treated special everyday?” just because you have changed intrinsically and came from another country. It’s like a person asking for more attention. By the way, I’m from a third world country and currently in a first world country.
this post was not meant to insult or offend anyone.
I totally disagree with you. Having lived (and currently live) outside of the US (part of that time in a third world country), I sympathize with all who “go home.” Her feelings have nothing to do with people starving to death. She is simply stating that when you go home, people expect you to be the same person who left – but you’re not. Any you expect them to have changed with you – but they haven’t. They don’t know you anymore and it’s tough to figure out where you fit in.
Really? Is that your message? There is an ugly thing going on in Syria so you should be ashamed to have any feelings, or any life for that matters?
For BEING from a third world country, LIVING in one, and for travelling to other third world countries, your view is reductive, ignorant, naïve, and borderline insulting to us “third world countries” people. If you haven’t experienced yourself the warmth of being welcomed in a village where people have hardly enough to survive and seeing how they love to share, to experience, to travel (even if it’s not abroad) that they can have more joie de vivre than many zombies in “first world countries “(do these terms still exist? I think they are offensive) , then you should get off your white shiny holy white horse, travel and go ask the people you think you’re defending if they mind this kind of blog post. You can even print it (No internet? really, that ignorant?)
PS: Even if your media shows you otherwise, the majority of the world, including “third world countries”, is not at war, is not dying of hunger and have internet access, and have life-size feelings and problems and thoughts that they sometimes share on blog posts too.
PPS: Instead of patronizing people, you should actually take time to make small changes around you in your own country. Do you see the poor and the homeless there and try to help? Just a thought…
And dude, seriously. Get over yourself.
THANK YOU. Exactly.
for me that’s exactly what the problem is. after travelling and seeing not just how good we have it in a lot of ways, but what we are also lacking in our consumer culture and how the life we have been sold isn’t so wonderful after all, and the fact that all our privilege comes at the expense of those in developing countries who are basically enslaved in order for us to have it a bit easier. that for me is the hardest part, the fact that people back home just don’t seem to get. they think it’s an accident that some have while others don’t, without recognising that it’s by design. it’s an increased sense of empathy and connectedness that i got from travelling that has made me feel like an outsider in this self-serving culture.
Third World is actually an incorrect term, it’s called underdeveloped, less developed or developing. And we have access to everything here, the internet is not restricted to people in the western world. We are proud of our thriving cultures and happy with our lives. We travel too and aren’t restricted as you think. People dying has nothing to do with a ‘third world’ country but more with the ignorance of people, and poverty. This happens just as frequently in the western world, you just don’t want to believe it
It’s not a buzzkill, it’s reality, and I very much feel the way you do. Once seeing places where this is a reality for people, coming home I feel quite disheartened and judgmental of the first world: “Why aren’t we advocating for those who are struggling to survive? Why can’t we step out of our bubble? Why are we all so passive and self centered?” I wish everyone had world pride instead of national pride, and saw those across the globe as fellow brothers and sisters.
Dude, you obviously don’t relate or have any idea what you’re talking about. There’s no need for your negativity.
Being from the third world doesn’t mean you don’t have internet access or that you don’t feel these things as well. I was struggling with this feeling as well and I’m from a third world country who moved elsewhere. Enjoyed the article, no need to guilt trip people from “the first world”.
I don’t disagree, but if we start thinking our issues are unrelevant because we’re spoilt travelers from the 1st world, then we should not write anything anymore.
I don’t think all third word countries people want to leave their countries like you said. Some of them just want to stay as like some just want to travel. It’s the feeling the writer has that some others could feel the same. It’s a comfort zone of expressing how they feel either it staying or leaving. However I don’t think it important tell people feeling is too spoiled or making them feel bad just because of their feelings.
We all live on the same planet but we all live in different worlds. We can’t obsess about third world problems and not enjoy what opportunities we have in front of us.
I agree, glad I’m not the only one. I’d love to travel, I wouldn’t come back spoilt and bitter that I’m not a shiny new toy after the first few weeks.
It seems to me that you havent traveled. 3rd world doesnt necessarily mean stone ages anymore. Most “3rd wold” has internet and cell phones. Yes its hard, yes its awful, and in some small way you make a difference to someone or something during your time away. IF you havent traveled, try it,it might change your view
Yes it’s a First World problem and a privilege to be able to travel in this way, but that doesn’t negate the feelings and experiences this writer is talking about. I would say it’s a very accurate summary of many travelers’ experiences.
buzzkill: even those who have dedicated 10+ years abroad – serving the very community you describe, may one day return home (recognizing the privilege to do so)…. and feel changed. At least I would wish that. Many may have started out as ‘spoiled’ opportunists…. but the many expats doing great work abroad, did so, because of opportunity. Let’s encourage and support young ‘spoiled’ kids with ‘first world problems’, to branch out and USE their opportunity to see the world in their eyes, and one day GIVE BACK.
“Telling others they can’t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can’t be happy because others have it better.”
Don’t invalidate someone’s emotions.
Haha, Jensen, from a third-world called India here. We travel alright, and we have internet even in the smallest towns. I agree that it is not a perfect condition to travel for fun; our country but we make do with the best we have, like every other.
Honestly, it is never about the boundaries that our limitations set us on, more so when we put on the face of a traveller. I am going out for 15 minutes to buy some thing, I’m still going to be traveling. Not for fun, but I’m observing life around me nevertheless!
Oh and I do travel loads pan India, I’m just saying it is even a thrill being at home if you are at peace with your enlightenment in life!
I know it looks like I don’t have a premise, probably so.
Understood. I am from a third world country, South Africa. Escaped from my hut surrounded by village attackng Lions and came to the beaches of Barcelona to swim in an ocean without Sharks for the first time in my life. I am really enjoying it, don’t be a buzz kill on third world countries. Be more specific
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve seen this article posted several times by fellow travelers. After reading it again, I feel the same as always. “omg I’ve changed so much and nobody understands me” – Enjoy your life, don’t complain about how good you have it.
How about being more respectful and refer to countries not in the Western part of the world as “developing countries” rather than the degrading term 3rd world? Stop viewing your country as 1st world and all the entitlement this term carries. Yes, the language you use is revealing.
I find it a little bit condescending that those who have the money to travel come back and feel they have changed in such a big way that we who have stayed put will never understand! I feel my choices to marry and have kids have changed my perception of life massively and no I haven’t lived with the tribes of the Masai Mara or wherever but I still think change happens wherever you are and whatever you do. Travellers don’t have the edge on personal insight. Those who have stayed put but raised kids/battled cancer/earned a living all have tales to tell and changes that matter to them too!
I find it a bit sad that those who do not travel put down the experience of those who do. Your experience as a mother will hardly be really and deeply understood by someone who doesn’t have kids. That is a reality. Travel, if done in state of mind to discover the others, is a fullfilling experience which in many occasions give a different insight on life. Don’t be so bitter about no being able to travel, we all choose our priorities, yours may change when your children grow up and you may find yourself in the shoes of a world traveller.
I didn’t find this article to be condescending at all. It explains the feeling of returning home a changed person, and having no one notice – it doesn’t say anything about the other parts of life that change you because the article isn’t about having kids or beating cancer etc. It’s about a specific feeling that I believe is probably experienced exclusively by travellers.
I don’t have kids yet, and I have no doubt that being a parent is totally life changing, but it’s really easy to see that from the outside. People who knew you before you had your child can literally SEE the change in your life, and they are physically there to watch you change as a person. Returning home from a trip, the only difference anyone can actually see is how much darker your skin is and how much lighter your hair is. Everything else that you try to share with them is all conceptual to them. Returning home from a big trip is a totally unique experience and it’s extremely difficult!
Also! When you say “those who have the money to travel…” I feel this is a little condescending. Of course it’s those of us in the privileged world who can travel for pleasure, but many travellers are not from particularly wealthy backgrounds by Western standards and do not necessarily have much money, a steady income, or a job to come back to. When I’ve travelled, I’ve worked my ass off saving up just enough money to go, and returned home flat broke and had to start from square one (which is also part of what makes returning home so hard – you come back a changed human being, with nothing to show for yourself.)
One, you don’t need money to travel. This post mentioned nothing about money.
Two, people like you exist just like people who have travelled exist. Why do you find someone’s experiences and thoughts condescending. We’re not all copies of each other so get off your high horse.
Sarah May What you have said is obviously true. But I don’t think the original article was condescending. It was simply meant to be a summary of an experience common to many travellers. I am sure you could pen endless paragraphs about how becoming a parent changes you (that’s like moving to a different planet, never mind visiting different countries). It’s all just different points of view. I have spent most of my life traveling and can certainly relate. No one’s experience is less valid, just different
This sounds like someone who is a spoiled attention seeker. And someone who has nothing better to do than wander around. And a cultist of travel who dramatizes travel as being some spiritual cure-all (even though, as you suggest, many annoyances happen).
This isn’t even about “wealth inequality”; this sounds like someone who is spoiled and has nothing better to do than wander around. And a cultist of travel who dramatizes travel as being some spiritual cure-all (even though, as you suggest, many annoyances happen).
I have travelled a lot in am planning to travel some more. But I can’t say I relate here. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but some of you guys (the OP and Hendrik) sound like self-involved narcissits (why oh why doesn’t the world notice me???) I find that travel does enrich and does teach about the world and about yourself but I also find that this experience can be as useful in further travels as it can be at home. Because the things you learn are universal. I learnt patience, openness, appreciation for what I have and also perspective. And these things help me deal with everyday life so much better now. So in short: you wanna keep travelling, do it. You wanna stay home and settle down: be my guest. The choice is yours. Personally I don’t think any less of the people who decide to stay than of those who decide to hit the road. Indeed, for some people settling down takes more courage than embarking on a journey. They’re just different life choices. I don’t know but the OP sounded a little condescending towards the stayers… Just my two cents.
I agree with you here. I think you hit the nail on the head when you say for some people staying home is more difficult than travelling. Being social when you travel, making friends, it’s much easier than at home. Because people will accept you much easier. Most nights it’s either accept the weird person or be lonely. I did some travelling by myself when I was 23. I thought it would change my life because I would meet all these like minded, interesting people. It did change me, and I did meet interesting people, but that’s not why I changed. As much as I enjoyed travelling I couldn’t help to feel hopelessly out of place at times. Everywhere I went I saw locals together. Living their daily life, working hard, going to school, hanging out with friends, being parents. I realised I was like an unrooted plant there. Before that I was a bit arrogant, not very good at making friends because I always looked for “interesting people”. There I came to envy people who were rooted, grounded. Because this is what a life should be. When I came back home I started focusing on making friends more, on being a professional, being a good boyfriend and just generally enjoying my home. I’m happier now than I was then. I do still travel by the way, I enjoy it a lot. But I am happy to go home at the end of a journey. No travel bug here.
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Nicelly written, but there are a couple of comments I would like to make:
– Everyone changes. Even the friends who stayed… obviously some changes are small, but some are significant. It is the relationship that stays the same; just because you meet your friend in the same old bar and talk about the same old topics, does not mean that he/she only lives as this. Ex: In my case, each (ex-)girlfriend changed me quite significantly; after all, a new person with new ideas became a major part of my life. Yet, it rarelly changed my relationship with my friends.
– As you said, there is this “place” where everyone travels and usually have similar ideas, talk about “similar” topics… After travelling a few times, the concepts remain the same. In my personal experience, after a handful ot times, being on the road is another “home/country”, with it’s social norma and behaviours. I still love it, but I get into “road” mode and go on as I did in my previous trips, and each one is not so different from the last one. Think of fight club and “single-serving friends” but in a positive light.
Finally, a small advice: If you feel that others are not fully understanding how much you have changed, maybe you should try to show how much by changing your routines. If you learned something, use it. If you long for certain conversations, start them. It would be a pity to be enriched by your trips and not share it.
love is all you need folks .
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I am from a country of the “third world” and I am reading this, and I liked it until I saw your comments. No, i´m not rich, I have 3 jobs to pay my school, so I hardly travel. And even though all of that, i loved it. Stop arguing stupid things. Just enjoy what she is trying to say and the sentimentalism she is expressing. Or argue of things you don´t even now, or lived through.
I’m confused about why this is offensive in any way. It is a perfectly acceptable feeling for any person traveling and inspired to write a post of my own https://whoneedsshoes.com/2016/08/07/the-hardest-part-of-traveling-no-one-talks-about-by-kellie-donnelly/ featuring this blog. I’m not sure why anyone would feel the need to send any form of “hate” comments, strange. I assume the people offended, feeling this is “the words of a spoiled person with first world problems ” is quite bitter, has not traveled, and could be a little jealous? Just a thought.
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It’s not about whether she traveled for pleasure or for whatever reasons. I enjoyed reading the article and don’t believe it has anything to do with being from a 1st world country. She is expressing a sentiment that people who travel alot can relate to. I believe traveling can help you learn a little about other cultures, teach you to respect them and breakdown prejudices/ignorance. It’s a choice, not a privilege. Thank you for sharing.
Bitter? Yes, perhaps I am. Jealous? Not at all.
As someone who has traveled far and wide, I do understand what you’re feeling in this post. But I do also understand that this is a toxic “me, me, me” way to think. Yes, there are positive benefits to travel, and it is a nice luxury to experience other parts of the world. No, it doesn’t make you a jedi or somehow more special and unique than the people who have stayed home. Many of the greatest writers/artists/thinkers never strayed far from home (especially in centuries past, when long-distance travel was rare), and when they did it was not as a tourist but in some difficult, purposeful endeavour (such as war).
One thing I always ask myself — are travelers (myself included) confusing mere activity with accomplishment? Moving through space is no special feat. Migrants and refugees do it every day, and I have a feeling that their experiences from travel are deeper and more profound than that experienced by any hobby traveller.
This isn’t to put down your experiences. But there should be some perspective here, and much of this article reads like someone who feels they are so much more special than all those other ignorant people who can’t see how special she is because… what?… she’s been in motion and taken selfies in places where millions of other people have moved through and taken selfies?
Whether this person traveled or not – they have a very “me, me, me” perspective on the world at this point in their life. No one recognizes the changes the writer went through – well, did the writer recognize the changes that all the other people went through during this time?? Even the friends that did not travel had lows and highs, experiences that made them grow, they are no longer the person they were before you left. Maybe they didn’t travel – but many of them are probably thinking no one cares about what they’ve been through all this time either.
I was going to leave a sentimental comment about my reaction to this post, but the hate received already has just put me off it entirely.
I’ll just say this to avoid it – what an amazing piece of writing.
“Amazing piece of writing”: you discredit the world of literature in more ways than one.
This is not a universal thing. It’s an existential crisis that anyone can have whether or not they’re a traveler. It’s a feeling of alienation and escapism. It’s a universal slap at the snooze bar. I’ve been a traveler: wherever you run, there you are. Crazy catches up every single time.
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This was great to read, and I do agree in most parts. Coming back home is tough if you lived a year abroad with many new activities and things to do, I agree. Where I don’t agree as much is your focus, this feeling you have of “sadness” once you become “normal” again to all your friends after a few weeks back is an illusion. The people never thought you were special just because you travelled, they just thought it would be nice to hear some new stories, but trust me if someone they were a little closer to called them and scheduled something the same time they planned to meet you, they would bail on you. The traveling experience is just for YOU to feel and grow from it. Nobody has anything to do with it and you should receive no praise for doing it. A person that sticks around in a company for many many years thru thick and think, bad or good, deserves a lot more praise then a person who jumps from job to job when one becomes boring.. It’s all about choices, and the choice to stick around and stay, to me is one hell of a courageous choice. Just my opinion.
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This article is 100% accurate!
Being a lover of travelling and having volunteered in a few developed countries, I come back home with new insights, thoughts, beliefs and outlooks on life that you can’t even begin to explain to your friends and family at home.
That’s why I wanted to do something about it. I made a blog about my love of travelling and teaching!
I just made my first post today!
https://thetravellingteacher213.wordpress.com/
Yes. True. But in addition, people home also changed. Time did not stop for them. They also had their issues and problems and chalanges. They also had to deal with things and reach new understandings about them selves. So “we” as travelers are not the highlight “home” and all the people fhere are. And same like they need to see the change in us, we have to do the same
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A few year ago, while traveling in Cambodia, I experienced people (entire villages) living with “no money”…”yes zero dollars”. They seemed so happy. Kids playing soccer with Coconuts, Mom crushing corn for tortillas and bread and Dad working in the fields. A few miles later we approached “civilization”. A small town, complete with a Seven-11 and a few bars.
Suddenly things changed. Young girls stood, scantily clad (whoring) along the road, garbage filled the ditches and drunks staggered amidst the traffic. Yup, they had been infected with our “money sickness”.
Upon arriving back in Canada I attended a bullshit Christmas party at my ex’s work and had to endure a speech by a “development” worker in which he so proudly declared how his NGO had increased the average wage in Cambodia by 20%.
Afterwards I spoke to this piece of work and said “why don’t you just leave them alone?” I wondered about his motives as he stormed away……..wow!
Instilling new hope? Or just new customers?
Such a beautiful and truthful read…A pleasure for the soul. That bug is real. 🙂
This hits so close to home with me. I played overseas for 3 years in Austria and I’ve been home now for 2 years now. I agree that no one can really relate to what its like to go to another country alone and end up loving it there. Sadly, the feeling has yet to go away and I think about Austria and my buddies everyday. Luckily the friendships I’ve made are real ones as we’ve all stayed pretty close. Also, I think that throughout the 3 years of living there I never took a single day for granted. I loved waking up in the morning in the middle of the Alps and say I am so happy to be here and have this opportunity. It kind of makes everything here lose its luster when I don’t have that same feeling everyday. Also, this may sound bratty, but I feel super spoiled and the little things just don’t do it for me anymore. I just keep thinking heads up and set my eyes on my next adventure!
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I have spent the better part of the past 7 years travelling the world. I have finished university (which i did overseas), finally returned to my home country and landed my “dream job”. only now i realize that my dream job is far from a dream. after being so spontaneous, i find it almost impossible to settle. Before travelling i had no fears, now that i have settled for one year i have developed a major fear – mediocrity. I am now terrified that I will wake up in 10 years time doing the same thing I am doing now.
to me, this is the hardest part of travelling that no one talks about.
Interesting comment with which I fully concur. I have a ‘good’ (well paid) job in an industry which I could, if i chose to, progress and climb the ladder but every time it gets to the 16-month mark I quit and leave to travel. Each time i run out of money and return home to work again. I’m a qualified electrician and engineer so I can always pick up work and i hold out as long as i can before i HAVE to leave. The thought of doing the same job every day with the only goal being to progress to a position where I am managing several other soulless people doing the job i was doing is enough to make me want to jump off a bridge.
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I left home over a decade ago. Picked up a job that I thought was for traveling cash, and now it’s a career. I’ve been the new traveler, and I’ve seen so many people starting out. The hardest part of being a traveler is not sounding boring to someone who has already done it. Telling stories about traveling to a traveler become factual. Things seen, things done, laughs had. When people start dropping in how wonderful the experience was for them, or how much they learned, or how much they have changed, they sound like children. They sound like they’re still focusing on themselves, rather than the places, people, and things they’ve seen. It’s boring. Sorry.
As someone who’s travelled and taught English in for a few years and returned home i sometimes find myself plagued by the curse of the traveler : https://m.reddit.com/r/IWantOut/comments/zykw2/getting_out_and_what_it_means_to_me/c68uit9?utm_source=mweb_redirect&compact=false
As a traveler, I know the feeling the author had in this article, but it’s very different from what I really think the hardest part of traveling. I wrote my rebuttal here: https://akingofnowhere.wordpress.com/2016/08/25/hardest-part/
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“when you star travelling you never feel fully at home any more” your Home is bigger and part of you is somewhere else all the time!! Is Hard… yes for some people it is… You may get used… Yes you may… It makes you find harder to understand why people want money, jobs, things, when the only thing that you love is experiences and travelling… But it is as it is not everyone can understand everyone… You just need to be good enought to don’t think that your perspective is the only one and the right one there is no such thing like the true… each person has his own true 😉
Don’t be harsh to eachother!! Each one of us is a world full of feelings, stories, etc. We are not better or worse, we are just differents!!
Greetings from a midium class, Chilean woman that have been so lucky to have live her life.
Ps: Sorry for my speeling mistakes… I am still learning 😉
“when you star traveling you never feel fully home any more” your Home is bigger and part of you is somewhere else!! Is Hard… yes for some people it is… You may get use… Yes you may… It makes you find harder to understand why people want money, jobs, things, when the only thing that you love is experience traveling… But it is as it is not everyone can understand everyone… You just need to be good enought to don’t think that your perspective is the only one and the right one there is no such thing like the true… each person has his own true 😉
Don’t be ash to eachother!! Each one of us is a all world full of feelings, stories, etc. We are not better or worse, we are just diferents!!
Greetings from midium class, Chilean woman that have been so lucky to have live her life
After my first trip, when I was at home feeling a mix of sad and awkwardness at the same time, someone told me that I was back there physically, but not spiritually, and that the spirit takes a little more to be back. I think that person was right, and it’s the same thing as what the article talks about, with other words…
Uffe Ulv Winther Jensen you need to shut up and fine somewhere else to post your rubbish. Total buzzkill- you knew it and you still did it. Go away.
A person doesn’t necessarily have to travel outside their own country to have this feeling. I spent my first week ( of now dozens of deployments) rescuing animals after the havoc wreaked by hurricane Katrina. I witnessed the most awful, horrendous, gut wrenching, wonderful thing, and that experience changed me forever. I no longer desire material things, I get a better high than any drug possible helping animals in need. I saw poor people that lost everything imaginable and witnessed the absolutely beautiful reunion these people had when the found their lost family member, their harrowing stories of how they survived and their realization that the only thing that mattered was the lives of their loved ones. And for that glimpse, I am forever changed, and forever grateful for it. I am currently in Louisiana rescuing animals from the flooding of Livingston Parish. I do not limit myself to just the USA, I travel world wide now. Volunteering is now my life’s passion.
Greate work!
As if building your career doesn’t make your brain work to the full capacity every single day? Going travelling for a year doesn’t make you more advanced from other people – everyone has their own way to develop and improve as an individual..
I don’t think the original post or any subsequent ones were suggesting building a career doesn’t make your brain work or change you. Ask any successful career person who has also had the opportunity to travel – there are many – all experiences will change you in different ways. This is simply one of them. The yearning to be somewhere else, wherever “else” may be is a common experience to travellers that isn’t necessarily understood by those who haven’t got “the bug”. Neither point of view negates the other
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Fortunately you can not pass spiritual experiences with simple story telling
This is exactly how I feel! I’ve just come back to the UK after 6 months in Canada and am finding it kind of hard to adjust.
I’m seriously disgusted by the majority of the comments on here. Seriously people? Do you have nothing better to do then scour the net looking for articles and posts to crap on? Traveling does not necessarily make one “Privileged”- lets make that clear from the beginning. I happened to grow up as an Army brat, and I moved to many different states before my father retired. But we were poor, and most certainly not ‘privileged’. But there is a feeling- an understanding- that you acquire from living in different states, different cultures, and around people different from your ‘hometown’…. A few years ago, I married a man from North Carolina. He has never left his state in his entire life. We live below the poverty level. We are not ‘privileged”… But we saved for 2 years, and took a trip to New York City (someplace I had been often). He has spent his whole life in one place- a place that is CONVINCED that their way, and only their way of doing things is right. He was told his whole life that New York was a dangerous, evil place… We spent 3 days there. We stayed in a hostel with strangers, and packed our own food to afford it… He saw people of all walks of life- rich, poor, from every nation on earth. We sat on a bench and watched a muslim family walk by- woman in a full burka, and then a few minutes later, a Franciscan Monk, complete with brown robe and shaved head walked by. A while later we passed two women dressed in beautiful, traditional African garb… Life was just happening, even though all the people we so different. He heard so many languages, saw so many people. He was a changed man. He saw a life he had never seen. He is just a simple man who left his ‘box’ for three days, and it changed everything about the way he saw the world. Before we had even gotten home, he was already talking about when we could go back. Then he had to come home. To his racist, evangelical parents who condemned the trip. To the friends who just kept making fun of him because “who the hell would want to go to a cess pool like NEW YORK?”… He couldn’t share his feelings with anyone except me. Even though he’s lived in North Carolina for over 40 years, just 3 days in NY changed everything about how he saw the world, and made him re-evaluate everything he had ever been told… THAT is what the author is talking about. My husbands frustration from not being able to explain to people what he experienced and how it’s changed his views on the narrow minded culture of North Carolina- it was in many ways depressing to him. Not because he was PRIVILEGED, but because he had learned something important and no one could understand him. We will never be able to afford it, but he has a list of places he would like to travel to now…. ‘Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.’” Mark Twain… Perhaps a few of you people with the nasty unneccesary comments could use a little more travel.
Brooke, Brava for your response!
Wow, great post Brooke. Well said.
It is called “reverse culture shock” well experinced by exchange students. You will feel that it is hard and painful adjusting back to the previous way. You can call youselves lucky if you didn’t fall in love with another country because it might traumalized you for many years. It gives you hope but now you have a different value and standard that not easy to express.
I first did an OE at 21 and yes, I felt I had changed very much on returning to what had now seemed the same old, almost boring hometown, feeling is though I’d gone backwards but, that’s life. You either decide to stick with what you know and are comfortable with (still minor changes come) or, if you’re privileged enough to be able to travel, Venture into the unknown and experience life elsewhere coming to see yourself learn to adapt, see as experience things your own country doesn’t offer etc, but know this, where it is you’re visiting is someone else’s home ground and they’d probably feel the same way as you do yours on their return. It’s attitude. You can think poor me, no one notices how difficult I’m finding this but in reality, it was our choice to go home in the first place. When I went for another OE, I didn’t return home, I moved somewhere where I could work and make a living where it was different and challenging and now am able to visit my fam and old friends once a year back in NZ. So if there is any advice to offer those doing a one year stint away, set long term goals for when you get home, if you choose to go home… Grow a veggie garden, learn a new language, save for move to a new town, study the bible etc