This piece was not written by myself but I couldn’t have said it better. The words epitomise a strong undercurrent I have been feeling for a while. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, that yearning I still feel five months after completing my trip.
If you’ve ever traveled extensively or taken a journey into the unknown, welcome to the group of lost individuals who will never be truly understood. Read below…
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The Hardest Part of Travelling that No One Talks About by Kellie Donnelley
Off the Beaten Track 
source: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kellie-donnelly/2014/07/the-hardest-part-about-traveling-no-one-talks-about/
As one who has traveled extensively since 1980 I truly understand these feelings. I am not sure if those of us with the “travel bug” are escaping from something at home but I have a feeling that is part of the allure of travel, to constantly seek something new and exciting rather than endure the drudgery of our “normal” lives at home.
I 100*% agree!
I truly get what you wrote here. New and Exciting!
Not running away but running, hopefully, to something different that adds to your arsenal of enlightenment which feeds many.
There wasn’t better way to describe this… All the thoughts and feelings I’ve had are described perfectly in your post. I wondering if 1 day when I will finish to pack or live in my suitcase, I will be able to settle down some where and have the possibility to start all over again,living the life of “normal ” people that everyone does in city that possible never sleep and be surrounded by people that can became new friends, understand what’s your feelings are, and helping you on having a life without the need of leaving for months. If it makes senses!!!
Dont go home. I left for 6 month went home for 2 week got bored and left again… 7.5 years ago.
Exactly. Make the world your home and your family will never stop growing!
It’s easy to say these things but being realistic you will go through the process of finding acommodation in an area you feel safe with and a job (if you intend on staying long) every time you want to go somewhere whether it be the next town or another country. Is this something you consider important or is it as straight forward as you make it sound when you just ‘get bored’ and want to leave home again?
Dear Kellie
I too have traveled for some time now, and has experienced that exact same thing when I went home. This is what I learned. You are the one that changed, you might be sitting in your childhood bedroom but you are not the same person. you are a stranger to them. Just as you were a stranger while traveling. You might know them all by name and you might know everything about them, but they dont know you any more.
Stay true to who you are now, stay true to what you have learned, embrace and love the new you, and above all be patient, for they will get to know, and love the new you. And yes being a stranger in you home town is very difficult, but so very exiting. It is almost as good as traveling.
Take care
JB
🙂
I have taught internationally for 4 years, 2 in Guatemala and 3 in Egypt. I came home to Texas last summer because my renter moved out and I had to move back into my house and start teaching school here again. I wasn’t here 3 months before I realized, I didn’t want to be here anymore . It was time to make a big change.
No one cares to hear about my adventures anymore. They ‘ve oohed and awed over my FB photos and posts but no one really cared about hearing about any of it once I got back home. I understand that I guess although I love hearing about people’s adventures in other countries. No one understands how it changes you except other people who have done it. It’s sort of like taking LSD. (I’m dating myself – a child of the 60’s). You can’t explain it to people who have never tried it and for those who have, it’s all understood, you don’t have to say anything.
Traveling or living abroad is the best eye-opening, life lesson that keeps on giving. There’s nothing like it. I signed another contract in November to teach for the next 2 years in Burma. After that, I’ll find a place in another country to retire. I’ve sold my house and I’m ready to make the break permanent. “Not all those who wander are lost.” J.R. Tolkien
This sounds a touch narcissistic to me. You don’t need anyone to validate you. Not many will, and if you spend your life agonizing over that, you’re going to have a bad time.
Chill out. Be happy!
Absolutely. Nothing positive in that at all. Just a load of self indulgence. It’s a shame you didn’t learn some self identity and independence on your journey. Travel and new experiences don’t have to alienate you from your friends and family at home. You can actually enjoy both.
well spoken, safe journeys!
It feels like you don’t want grow up and escaping from what is called, reality.
Traveling is nice. Enjoy it while it last. Keep on doing it for the rest for your life. Just don’t make a full time job out of it. Life is not easy.
i made a fulltime job out of it. international flight attendant 🙂
That’s the SPIRIT….good for you….
Maybe it is not YOUR reality, but YOU cannot deny us OURS. You sound like one of those people we don’t want to come home to because of the negativity. Enjoy YOUR life however you choose and we’ll keep on keepin’ on. Namaste.
Negativity my ass! You will NEVER understand until you have done it. Do not make silly assumptions.
that’s a really sad way to live…
Written by the shadow side of someone who never had the courage to go, perhaps? Your comment suggests your discomfort with a lifestyle outside the social norm. Am I wrong?
You clearly dont understand
I kind of agree Hello.
What I don’t like about this article is the implication that the traveler is superior to those they leave behind at home. Upon return, the people at home “haven’t changed”. “Nothing has changed”.
News flash – people change every day of their lives, whether they travel or not. Travel opens you to some new experiences, but people are quite capable of encountering new things regardless of whether they have left their hometown.
It seems like it is the author’s perception that hasn’t changed. All that travel, and the author still can’t see things from a new perspective, because “nothing has changed”. All I see in this article is an attitude of “I’m better than you because I’ve travelled, and I just want to get away from you all”
I completely agree with this, having been travelling myself and experiencing the very same thing, an having a Father who has been travelling since he was twenty. I recently visited his side of the family with him for the first time (I am 21) on the other side of the world, and witnessed how disconnected he was from them all. I think an element of this post is about not feeling like you belong upon return, for a shared lack of understanding on each side. This persons dismissal of “engagements etc.” demonstrates this, and running away to the temporary relationships which are made when travelling may feel like the easy option, but it makes people forget about you more when you are away, and makes you belong even less when you get back. My dad has been constantly “temporary”, and as a result he is in his golden years and lonely.
Thanks Andy, I agree. The author is “sitting in their childhood bedroom,” and looking down their nose at everyone around them. That was the sentence that clinched my reaction to this article. Because the fact that after a year of indulging your wanderlust, you are fortunate enough to come home to a familiar environment that other people are working hard to maintain for you. And instead of expressing gratitude that they have maintained this familiar space while you indulge yourself, you have chosen to despise them for it. And don’t bother accusing me of “not understanding because I haven’t been there,” because I moved to Stockholm, Sweden when I was 18, mastered the language, lived there for four years, and studied at the university there. And while it absolutely broadened my horizons, it did not cause me to come home and judge the people who had not had similar experiences
I agree with you Andy. If the author can do all that travel (however much that might be) and still come home this self-absorbed, maybe it hasn’t done her much good.
(y)
Come on people. Stop being such naysayers. This is a genuine experience that people have when they return home. Its not an individualistic or even individual problem. The issue is self awareness. Travellers are ambassadors for cultural criticism. By revealling inconvenient truths that your own family, culture, city or country havent necessarily got it right, dont have all the answers, are quite random and arbitary. For the same reasons of incuriosity, insecurity, self satisfaction, and chauvinism that cause people not to travel those same people dont want to know about alternative ways of being and it is mentally jarring to be around people who have been uplifted by their travels.
Don’t listen to Hello. You HAVE grown up. You have a reality and it involves something more than what everyone assumes your reality should be. You Can travel the rest of your life and make a full time job out of it. At the same time, don’t be hard on the people who don’t get it. Their goals are different and that’s okay.
I agree!!! Ignore Hello!
I am 44 and have had tons of adventures with more to come. My husband and I are both self-employed and our business’ require both of us to be hands on. The more I travel the more I want to go…I am changed and want to continue to change..I know home will always be here for us. We are trying to make positive changes to be able to leave more frequently and have it be more sustainable, make less $$ impact when we go each time.
We are more connected with adventure and age creeps in so quickly when we are home without travel.
Travel, create a life, make decisions that let you move!!
Exactly. Benefit from your travels but don’t think less of those who have a different path. We can all be wonderful people with great lives.
That’s one of the reasons that I am happy to be married. When I traveled by myself, I experienced similar things that you did when I got back. But when I travel with my wife, despite how things are the same when we get back, we have a shared experience that we can bounce off each other. It takes the sting out of being back in the regular world. Don’t get me wrong, the regular world has its advantages but traveling opens up so many doors that you never see back home. Now, we can be sitting at the table and we will occasionally mention something we did or saw some far away place and it triggers a conversation that takes us back to another time and place. It’s better for me to travel with my trusted partner.
It’s true. Not everyone gets it. They haven’t experienced the things you have experienced. Some people want the perceived safety of staying put. Staying put can be just as risky….they think it’s best to work for a big company with a steady income and 401k…but then they get fired because of the economy or someone with more exciting resume(like yours) comes along. Those people may never get it so it’s best to respect that and know you need to keep connected with people who DO get it. While they may frustrate you at times, those stay put people are also a source of comfort to people who thrive on experiences. It’s just life….there will always be those like Hello that don’t believe it’s possible to live and love experiences like you love. Plenty of people live full, exciting lives and manage to have enough money. Life is all about choices. To thine own self be true. In the meantime, I’m aching to travel…I’ve been a stay at home mom for lots of years and our kids are in college….I’m living a wonderful life with great experiences but I chose to be home so our vacations have not been abroad…I believe I’ll get there again. I love my life and I’m grateful for the life I’ve lived and the choices I’ve made. Stay true to you….and if/when you’re a couple, stay true to both of you….and when/if you’re a family, stay true to choices that are best for you! Life is about adapting to circumstances and making choices. Enjoy it all!
I absolutely agree!! I recently returned hone and found myself crying and confused. I thought I’d be so happy to return home but I was suddenly stuck in the sake rut I worked so hard to escape. It’s so good to know it’s not just me that feels like this!! Thank you!!
You lost me at “you’re sitting in your childhood bedroom…” Maybe it’s time to explore the real world closer to you, instead of trying to find yourself on another continent. IOW time to get a career (or even a real job), move out of your parents’ house, and get on with things?
The book “Vagabonding” is about the why of people who live for long-term travel.
There are “millions” who choose this life style and thrive. Each person is different.
I dreamt of living abroad since childhood. I left the US 7 years ago when unemployed and have no regrets.
I don’t feel any remorse when I return home but, I know I am only visiting and “my home is where I am.”
i guess it’s that sort of thing where you have to choose what to work on – if a painter started a painting and then left to teach painting for some time, they too might get depressed upon returning to their unfinished work.
i guess it’s a challenge to work on your “regular life”, too, perhaps it’s even harder to make an adventure of it than going away and immediately be thrown in adventures. Balance of things seems to be the answer with me at the end of the day.
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” TS Eliot
I have always said that home was where your head lay at night. Your job is to be the best person you can be wherever that happens to be.
I have travel the world . But when I wrnt Deaf the hometown treat you the same way you don’t exist n no one talks to you because they don’t know your world .
Wow! I think you nailed it! We just returned from a 10 month sailing journey and I just want to scream sometimes! Fortunately, we have a plan to return in about five months, but it’s gonna be a LONG five months!
Chris on S/V Radio Waves
Maybe the most important part of a trip starts when you’re back home. Back to the past, where people and situations have changed as yourself. The challenge is to keep the essence of what has make your travel wonderful. The challenge may be traveling in your home’s life.
Yes! I just read a bunch of these back and forths, and this strikes the balance. I moved away (7 months in) and the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that home is where the heart is – cliche, yes – but also unearthing a major truth in life: Where you are right now, is where you …well, are. Enjoy now and here because that’s all there is – whether it’s “stuck” in status quo, limbo, or completely unstuck. But if you find yourself always in the state of leaving or wanting to (home, the new place, where ever), you’ll never arrive.
Find home in yourself and it won’t matter where you are. Chasing the new is an endless journey. There’s a lot to be said for finding home and security in familiar things and then exploring the adventure and the new within that. You just have to figure out your values and decide what you want to have define the familiar and the adventure for you.
Great post! I’m another long-time traveler who has lived overseas for five years in four different countries. Kellie Donnelley is right. You soon learn that others really don’t understand and don’t want to share photos (unless it’s another inveterate traveler). But there’s a big difference between those who just travel with guided tours and those who actually live in a different country and are forced to adapt to a novel culture. Now I’m getting old and my lungs are giving out so I have to stay home. It’s time to be writing up the understanding and the memories that this lifestyle has given–if only for my children.
Great post! I’m another long-time traveler who has lived overseas for five years in four different countries. Kellie Donnelley is right. You soon learn that others really don’t understand and don’t want to share photos (unless it’s another inveterate traveler). But there’s a big difference between those who just travel with guided tours and those who actually live in a different country and are forced to adapt to a novel culture. Now I’m getting old and my lungs are giving out so I have to stay home. It’s time to be writing up the insights and memories that this lifestyle has given–if only for my children.
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Hi I m anish n I m 30 y/o.. Traveling has really change my self .. It gave me more confident more value of life but when I m back home I felt my life was change it make s me feel so depressing thinking of doing same work same time table same people same routine… I feeling like traveling meeting people doing … Makes me now more excited feels Like I m alive .
It sounds as if you’re a little spoilt. I bet when you and whoever wrote this are away on your travels, you think you are being impressive and everyone thinks wow they are amazing for jumping on a plane to random countries… when in actual fact, nobody cares. Your travels are for yourself while everyone else has other things going on in their life that they care about.
You haven’t travelled to another planet. It’s just earth. Every country has different landmarks, food, scenery, culture and languages but they are all just variations of what is already in your own country.
I’d like to visit every country in the world but i know i can’t and nothing actually changes if i don’t. I just appreicate being in a different place every so often.
What do you really expect to happen when you return home? You won’t get a reward or your own book about your life. Many people travel just like many people stay at home.
You should really think of business opportunities when you are abroad to give you reason to visit these countries again whilst making money at the same time. Look for negatives about each country and what they need to approve on and you may just find you have a potential business idea. Imagine getting paid to travel…
Exactly. This article is pretentious. “Oh, look at me, I have traveled, I’m special! Pay attention to me!” The article assumes that people who have not traveled do not change and grow as well. I have traveled to every continent except Antarctica and spend most of my adult life living and working in other countries, and I have loved it. But it isn’t really a big deal; everybody lives somewhere, and everybody is from somewhere. My travel experience gives me a perspective on certain things, but it does not necessarily change me more than people who do not travel.
Here is a qoute from Lao Tzu to make me appear enlightened. He would agree that travelers need to get over themselves:
Without going out the door, know the world
Without peering out the window, see the Heavenly Tao
The further one goes
The less one knows
Therefore the sage
Knows without going
Names without seeing
Achieves without striving
Hmm, seems we perceive things differently here. I love this quote, and I thank you for sharing; however, this doesn’t speak to me about knowing your surroundings. I believe Tzu is saying if you really want to take a trip, explore your own personality and mind. It is truly the farthest one can travel and can gain the most knowledge.
You expect people to be interested and comprehend that this annoying habit of comparing everything you thought was normal to country x is never going away because the “randomness” lies at home.
Many people think about what they would like to do but never do it. I started traveling when I was 16 and I am now 62 and have not stopped , I have learned skills that let me travel and I have amazing friends all over the world. With social media I can be in contact with them any where, anytime. I have many people ask me how did I do it? I tell them that I just did what I wanted to do and the rest followed. Enjoy your life, no one will do it for you.
This entire article seems very self absorbed. The author is upset because people don’t want to discuss how she’s changed? She does “obligatory visits”, then gets upset when she isn’t “Hollywood” anymore and then feels “part of you is screaming don’t you understand how much I have changed?”
The author seems to lose her connection with these friends and family members because she isn’t interested in how their lives have changed. Yes, traveling changes your perception of the world but so does creating a family. Perhaps if the author showed a real interest, not obligatory, in friends and family back home then they would return interest.
I’ve been traveling for long term tours in foreign countries for 20 years. I never go home and talk about what I’ve done unless I am asked. I make an honest effort to see how my friends have changed and talk about their lives. I often find that they have enriching experiences of their own that I haven’t had. When you show that you care and aren’t self absorbed then you will make stronger friendships and won’t have such a hard time when you are around them.
Couldn’t agree more. Haven’t traveled extensively, and would love to travel more. But coming back makes me appreciate things about home I may not have appreciated before. And I am a firm believer in “To have a friend, you have to be a friend”. Something the writer of this article seems to not have considered. Traveling is a privilege not many can afford. But it’s also just an experience. Just like getting married, starting and growing in a career, having a baby…I find it rather conceited to think you only experience “real” change and growth through travelling. And I find it sad that the writer can’t see how narrow minded the view is.
Loved it! I have gone through similar experience as well. Two months after coming back from long term travel, I became ill. It wasn’t because of the normal pace at home, but actually my addiction to experiencing new cultures and serendipity.
I got so ill, that I went in for a complete check-up. Doctor said that nothing is wrong. But, I already knew what was wrong with me, and I just followed it. Got rid of my things, and became a traveller again. I road tripped around california and stayed in hostels for two months. That revived me and brought me back to life: being on the road, gathering new experiences and meeting other travelers. Since then, I move around the city quite often: don’t commit to long term rentals and change homes/neighborhoods quite often. I think some of us come from a ‘traveler’ breed. For us, once the travel light inside our brain is on, it never goes off again.
Traveling is quite different than touristing around. A traveler embraces the journey no matter what comes next, and looks for serendipity everywhere. The attitude of a traveler is what brings happiness and light into the boring NORMAL life. I have so much respect for our tribe of travelers. Since two years ago, I have looked for ways to create jobs for travelers that helps them maintain the lifestyle of a traveler anywhere they are; whether traveling or at home. Connect with me if you are interested to get involved, would love to trade thoughts with you.
This was eloquently written. Personally I feel that those monumental changes that those worldly travel experiences put you through is for life, and that is exactly how long it takes you to realize how much influence they have had on those around you. I really get emotionally how it feels like you want it to pour out of you because you are filled to the brim with this new life changing experience, but in the end you can still only dole out a little of at a time. It is only in the lens of hindsight that we think people transform others or the world in a fell swoop, but even if you had not traveled you would still at best be putting yourself into the world in small amounts. Having done most of my travel when I was younger I see now 20 years later how much that has influenced the issues I care about and donate time and money too, the issues I try to raise consciousness in, in others, the lessons and confidence I will be able to give to my children when we travel together, and the respect I will be able to give them to other people and cultures even if I don’t get to travel with them much at all. It is the telling of a little story here and there of your travels to a new group of people you’ve become associated with, or the way you might inspire one person to take a trip they never would have taken if not for your tales of travel. It is in the way you impress someone new you have met from one of the countries that you’ve traveled to, by making them feel comfortable and at home in your country because they’ve met somebody who might understand things from their perspective a little. Know that you’ve changed for the better and just watch it slowly work it’s way outward over the long span of your life. 🙂
Growing up I never had the pleasure to travel myself, and then as a young adult I settled down married and had children. When we had children we started traveling on family vacations. I then realized I really enjoyed going to new places. I often day dreamed when I was in a new place what it would be like to live there. Now my children are older, we still take yearly vacations but due to obligations and commitments at home a yearly vacation is the most I can take. I encourage young people before you make to many commitments and get tied down live your dreams see the world if thats your pleasure. Great idea to get a education and see if you can use it abroad. There is plenty of time for marriage, kids, mortgages, and car payments. Live while you are young and find who you are.
Hey folks this has been a great read. I appreciate all of the commentaries as well, they add much flavour to the texture of whom we all are at varying levels of this travel lifestyle.
Coming back home is difficult when we feel we are plugged right back into the same space we no longer fit into. Truth is we out grew these places long ago, yet we return believing somehow it might fit, work or make sense now because we have grown and with growth maybe we can make better sense of society.
I think the only thing that makes sense for me is; how do I serve others right where I am at. Yes there is a level of “firstworldproblems”, many of our family and friends are quite content with what they have built for them selves, that’s cool for them. I am building, creating, learning and finding out for me.
Its difficult to do this when we feel so out of rhythm, place, and even out of the box. Growth is so subjective, so as much as they want us to fit in to “societal norms” this new wine ain’t gonna be comfortable in any old wine skin. I encourage you all to keep searching for what fits you, and find your comfortable pace, space and go with that. Always remember, never forget, keep on keeping on!
Beautifully said x
While you may have changed, you still have not really grown up. You are depending on others to validate your life. Be happy with what you are and you’ll find peace.
Isn’t wanderlust the seeking of knowledge through experiencing new things? Don’t you grow and learn from that experience? Isn’t your need for growth insatiable? Travel is one way of satisfying that need, feeding that desire.
Not everyone has that desire. They find satisfaction from life in different ways. There is no right or wrong, just different. Those that stayed behind share a world that you are no longer part of. Those that you left share a different world that you were part of. It’s not personal.
Knowledge is like a moonbeam on the water; the moon does not get wet and the water is not broken. (Zen koan)
We hate ‘ruts’ because they are a place of no growth. Maybe you are in a box that you are not aware of. I know plenty of people who don’t travel physically, but they are GROWING.
Kellie
Hang in there. Your only problem is you haven’t traveled enough yet. Get out and keep moving until you are tired of it. Way back when, my wife and I tried to sail around the world with a friend. We sank in Tahiti, hitched rides as crew on several boats to New Zealand, traveled and worked in their National Parks for two years. We got jobs seasonally in Antarctic and traveled extensively between contracts. Mostly in Australia, New Zealand, numerous South Sea islands and an extend RV trip around the US. It was heaven of a lifestyle because we were also getting paid to travel. But, after 13 years of living out of suitcases and thousands of times meeting someone and saying Hi my name is Mike, and knowing I will never see them again. I began to miss having friends that know me year round. I began to miss growing a garden and having a home.
Settling down was an adventure. We threw the proverbial dart at the map. We found a sleepy west coast town, bought a house with no permanent job and moved in to stay with no idea how we would survive, but we did. It was the travel bug way of putting down roots. We got involved in everything, have met the most interesting friends and while the travel bug changed everything about us for the good, I now have another equally interesting life ahead, traveling is the ho hum been there done that thing in our past.
For you, my advice is to leave and stay away until you don’t like it anymore. The money will come if you are inventive. Your life will be forever enriched. And you will be happy to come back when it is on your terms. Safe Travels
To Mike: Now that is the proper advice for people who are travelling!! Its all relative to each situation.
I would also add that you need to prepare your return, its not enough to just come home, you need to come home with plans on what you will do, be it changing careers, going back to school, preparing another adventure or.. like me and my wife, finally settling down(i’m excited to buy a house soon) and have the kids live a life in Canada (my youngest has never lived there, the oldest spent the first 2 only)
It’s important to have a plan for your return or else you will just wander and try to reenter your old life when it’s impossible to do so, you have changed drastically from your travels.
I’m totally agree, and that’s my advice for everyone travelling for first time. I commit the big mistake to come back home without plans after 6months away… it’s been the 5 most difficult months of my life.. the quickest solution I find was leaving again, and here I am, in south Asia backpacking for few months. But i promessed to my self I will not do same mistake when I’ll one back home and I’m already thinking about what to do!!!
Brilliant advise!! Very well put I say!
As an enthusiastic traveler, I think this would be great to share more information about some of my trips and experiences. If I could offer a fairly detailed list of my expenses, it could show people exactly how much travel to certain places cost.
inBudget going to revolutionize how people talk about money and budgeting:
http://blog.inbudget.net/the-secrets-behind-public-budgeting/
Long time traveller here. I agree with most of it except for the part when the author feels superior to those who stayed. Even the beggar of your hometown had new experiences and had to use “his brain in a real capacity” whilst you were away. Wanting your friends and family to put you on a pedestal just because you travelled is not only vain but also terribly immature. I travel for what it brings me, not so I can brag about it and be a “shiny new object” to my loved ones. My advice is that you need to grow up.
I completely disagree with this post. Happiness will come where ever you make it. And it’s quite sad to read such a negative and quite frankly narcissistic approach on this subject. I arrived home from my travels about 7 weeks ago and yes I have the “bug” but I don’t see the bug as a means to escape, it’s because I’m excited for new adventures. I’m always looking back at my photos and I miss being away, but I also love being home because I’m happy and fortunate to have wonderful family and friends around me, and yes I’ve grown up and people have moved on down here, and I appreciate that, because funnily enough the world doesn’t revolve around me… since I’ve been home two of my best friends have gotten engaged, and I am nothing but overwhelmed with happiness for them, where as this post expects me to feel negative towards them!? Not going to happen. I’m so lucky to have had the experience to travel the world and make new friends from all over, some who I know I will see again. But until then, until I can get my opportunity to go explore again (which will happen) I will be very content and happy at home. Because like I originally stated, happiness is where you make it.
There are all types of people in the world. Travelers seem to be enjoying a very romantic existence with life. There is a season for everyone to indulge. However, someone has to stay at home and raise the beans and corn for tortillas.
Everyone is speaking my mind, but I still want to tell you how much I adore this article! Thank you so much! I am your fan from now on!
There is a great deal of comment on this article, but don’t you think the original author would want to be involved? @sharkydillon has copied and pasted Kellie Donnelley’s work without a link, effectively leaving Kellie out of the conversation. Sharky benefits from the clicks, traffic and conversation surrounding Donnelley’s work, but Donnelley herself is oblivious. There is no biography of the author, no contact, no link to more of her work. That, to me, is a form of piracy… unless, of course, Donnelley has sent the text directly to Sharky who now has first publication rights (if that is the case, why isn’t Kellie herself responding to these comments?). I’m not saying this because I like the original article, which I found badly written and cloyingly narcissistic. It’s just a matter of principle.
Hi Geoff, thank you for pointing this out. I have had this up on my site for 2 years now and have had 5 or so hits. Until 2 days ago. For some reason (and I’m not entirely sure how), this post has had a lot of traffic recently over the past two days. The first comment contains the source and I will link this into the article now. Thanks again for pointing this out. It was never meant for my gain, only something I found which made sense to me, so I added it to my page.
This article makes me sick – you are so incredibly lucky to be given an opportunity to see the world – and like a true gen Y whinger all you do after is complain, as if you’re disappointed that the experience couldn’t be absolutely perfect.
What a spoiled brat!
This explains a lot… This is right the way I feel!!!
Now I can understand a lot!!!
I really loved your text.. THANKS A LOT FOR IT!!!!
That´s true.. nobady talks about this to you!!! so thank you very much!!!
Flys on planes designed and built by engineers, posts on internet built by computer scientists, stays in childhood bedroom paid for and maintained probably by parents.. The only reason you’re travelling is because people choose not to travel and perfect a trade and build things in a static location, whether that be building a career or a by having a family. They don’t understand you so you leave again? I’m sure you took time to understand their studies, careers, families and passions? You’ll be back to use them again to save up and get fed and sheltered for free so you can carry on doing what best suites YOU. The people you refer to as “normal” are selfless.
I’ve been traveling in SE Asia for the last 10 months. Going home next week. I feel your pain, but i am determined to find ways to make this ‘coming back’ experience a beautiful one.
I will take my time to know my neighbours and i will do all I can to share the kindness that I’ve received while travelling in these beautiful lands.
But yes, I’m already thinking of ways to earn money for the next trip. I’m officially hooked on it! 🙂
Okay, I get it and have felt some of this, but to me this is a little too whiny and self-centered. The problem with this is the “poor me” attitude that oozes from it. Hey, you got to see and experience things others do not have the opportunity or (sometimes) the guts to see and experience. Are you traveling just so you can be the center of attention when you return to your childhood home? Get some perspective! Some people do not have a childhood home with which to return. Why not feel fortunate to have gone and done what other have not or could not have done? Traveling is a luxury most people can not afford. Be grateful for your experiences, learn from them, and try and teach others what you have learned. If you think this is too harsh, then run back into your childhood bedroom and cry yourself to sleep. Otherwise, understand that you had a great privilege afforded to you and be happy with that. If you can’t do that, then I feel the experiences you had were a waste!
Shara and Kellie, the main thing you need to learn is that other people exist. “Each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own”
I have travelled extensively for four years, away for months at a time, visiting more than 50 countries. I only say this because of the dismissal Hello, Andy and Dena received above. This article is one of the most self-centred things I read. You are NOT some shiny object. Learn some respect for the people in your life.
Thanks for writing this, I am not a big traveler, I enjoy living where I am and exploring the woods and mountains of my home state, but I come from a family of travelers. I spent a year living in Pakistan when I was 14 and experienced everything you describe upon my return. While I am not big on traveling now, I am aware because of my own experience and try to make it a point to talk to those who travel about where they have been, what they have seen and how it has changed them. I know for those of you who enjoy traveling the idea of staying in one place for any length of time may seem strange, but that same exploration that you do on a grand scale I do on a small one. I have several valleys in the Talkeetna Mts of Alaska that I have returned to over and over because it is never the same. I have the Chatanika river 15 miles to the north of me that I try and get up to on a weekly basis during the summer to fish and hike. My goal this summer is to walk 10 miles upriver from a bridge crossing. There are no trails and other than boaters, almost no one ever goes there. I enjoy exploring places that people don’t go, finding quite places to sit, watching animals, exploring the woods along the bank, walking animals trails and coming to know this small stretch of my world. I see the value in exploring widely, but I also think it is just as valuable to explore locally, to get to know intimately where you live and the wonders in every corner of this globe. I don’t think it is whether you explore globally, or locally that causes the disconnect, but the fact that you explore at all. I find that most people I interact with on a daily basis don’t find my wilderness ramblings any more interesting than they do your world travels. The missing piece is the desire to explore no matter where you are and to let that experience change you. I’ve stood on ridgelines in the middle of the Alaska Wilderness, watched beavers chasing river otters while fishing, biked through miles of wild mountains along rough trails, explored rivers and streams throughout my state and would argue that it can be just as life changing as traveling across the globe.
It’s been 2 years and I’ve never found someone that could describe the same way I felt when I returned home and I feel so pissed right knot that I simply just got used to it.
I’m packing my shit.
Thank you.
What a typical self-indulgent travel-bore point of view. Woo, you got on a plane, went somewhere else and did things surrounded by by different scenery.. you *special person you, you must have grown *so much as a person. people just wont understand your new amazing outlook.. blah blah blah.
I did a little bit of travelling early in my life, and you know what I took away from it ?
“People are People, the same the world over” – Take away the irrelevant wrappings – clothes, language, food, architecture etc, and you meet the same *types of people no matter what country you are in. Nice, Nasty, Boring, Beautiful, Stupid, Inspiring, Dull etc. So unless you are travelling just to see the wrappings, the only thing you will find is a connection with other people who also cant find enough excitement at home to make them go wandering too.
But you know what ? The problem is with *you, not the place. Every place has its parking lots and parties, its wastelands and gardens, and its *your outlook that will cause you to see them or not.
Home is boring ? Chances are *you are the boring one. Unable to find excitement unless surrounded by different scenery,and then expecting everyone to “understand how much better you are for it” – perhaps you should spend more time looking *inside instead of zooming about, trying to surround your outsides with the novel and crying that you cant connect with people.
I can understand this in a way… But I also think this article is quite a depressing way of looking at the time of returning… I’ve travelled a lot and I’m still travelling now so il feel these similar feelings again when I decide this trip I’m currently on is over. I’ve felt the highs wear off from those around me as well which is all part of it, just like the highs of seeing our loved ones will wear off for us… We shouldn’t be looked at as a fancy new toy just because we’re the ones who travelled.. The truth is they are bound to wear off. When it comes to being in your home environment It’s all about your perception on your surroundings.. There’s a quote I really like that reads “and then il return home and know the place for the first time” it’s like having new eyes for our home we can make those eyes to be filled with happiness, gratefulness and share that with those around us, sure on the experiential level they won’t understand this but on another level one that we can’t understand they will and that’s better then not sharing at all. We can’t live our whole lives with the impression that home is something to run away from, especially after all the precious beauty we have learnt along the way that can be used to fuel the love for our home town.. And the good thing is if you ever wanna go reap the benefits of travel again it’s only a flight or car trip away in your home country or overseas:)
This is called “The eternal Travelers Syndrome”. Very powerful
Often people traveling escape from their grey lives and problems instead of making their lives great. I have often met people who were not very successful in what they do at home. I have a great life at home, I love my life. Traveling is great bit after a few weeks abroad I look forward to my bed, my friends, my hobbys. Make your daily life great instead of looking your fortune elsewhere!
After 20 years of travelling I’ve come to realise the art is in finding the exciting magical experience in your every day, wherever that is, on a boat in a far flung sea or in your back garden! I’m at the moment in another far flung place and seeing all the beauty of my back garden….so still haven’t mastered it……maybe that’s why we all travel, those who find their happy place are really lucky, those who are most content never going anywhere are really lucky too X